Wild Wild West (1999)

If you are going to adapt a TV show that is described as a science fiction western into a comedy, the least you could do is make it funny. And it shouldn’t take six accredited screenwriters to fail at doing so. True story: I saw this in the theatre on opening weekend and was so glad it was finally over I tried to rush out of the theatre ahead of the crowd by sliding down the railing of the stadium seating. In doing so, I slid faster than I intended into a group of people and fell off the other side roughly ten feet onto another group of people below. How this movie isn’t #1 for that fact alone is beyond me.

Bewitched (2005)

To be fair, this is more an homage than an adaptation. That little tidbit aside, it was still not a terrible idea. The problem is that it’s just all over the place. It’s too much of a weird story that didn’t pay too much mind to the source material. And the casting could not have been more off the mark. Trying to capitalize on Will Farrell hysteria was as bad an idea as assuming he and Nicole Kidman would have any chemistry whatsoever. Ok, maybe the whole thing was a bad idea.

Æon Flux (2005)

Adapting high-concept animation into live action is tricky enough as it is, but when the end result is this boring, you wonder why the studio didn’t just cut their losses and release it direct-to-DVD - or not at all. When the only success you have achieved is being able to proclaim that something that came from MTV is better than your finished product, you have fallen into a well so deep that even a scantily clad Charlize Theron can’t pull you out of. And really, isn't that saying something?

Scooby-Doo (2002)

Besides a computer-generated Scooby, which might be the worst idea since thinking consuming a glass of raw eggs would help me grow muscles as a kid (damn you, Rocky), any time you can say Matthew Lillard is the best part of anything you should know you’re in trouble. At least they didn’t make a sequel.

Oh, wait…

Miami Vice (2006)

It had all the pieces in place to be a great movie. After executive producing the TV show, Michael Mann went on to become one of the more respected directors in Hollywood. Then he decided to revisit old stomping grounds to show the world how adapting a TV show is supposed to be done. It should have been awesome. Instead, everything that made the TV show great was gone and replaced with stars who seemed to think they were too good for the movie they were making. As a result, we all got stuck with the most boring “action” movie in recent memory. Or basically a really poor emo version of Bad Boys.