Starring: Jessica Alba, Alessandro Nivola, Parker Posey, Chloe Grace Moretz
Director: David Moreau, Xavier Palud
Release Date: February 1, 2008
Running time: 97 min
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Distributors: Lionsgate

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Review by Jeremy Welsch

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I actually requested this review during a phase I like to refer to as the “sign up for movies I don’t want to see in an effort to challenge myself as a reviewer” phase. Or S.U.F.M.I.D.W.T.S.I.A.E.T.C.M.A.A.R for short. Right out of the gate, I had lowered expectations. Not bleak really, because I try to keep an open mind, but lowered to say the least.

I suppose I shoulda known better. I shoulda seen it coming. Then I found out the movie was produced by Tom Cruise. I shoulda left after the trailer for Prom Night.

The Eye is a remake of The Pang Brothers 2002 Asian film, Jiàn Guǐ. I first heard about the original from a friend of mine who always tries to find these movies no one has ever heard of in a search for that “diamond in the rough.” I never got around to seeing that film, but I can safely attest to the fact that this is not that diamond.

The most frustrating part of this movie is that the concept itself is quite interesting. Sydney Wells (Jessica Alba) is a concert violinist who has been blind for the better part of her life. She undergoes a double corneal transplant to restore her sight.  After the surgery, Sydney begins having premonitions and visions of the dead, which she attributes to the violent way the corneal donor died. The idea always struck me as pretty twisted — a person seeing unexplained visions through someone else’s eyes which are just passed off as her mind simply adjusting to the concept of sight. Or better yet, the concept of a blind person being able to see for the first time in years and having to re-acclimate themselves to an environment in which they previously not only survived, but even flourished. So the idea is fine, and there is a good story to be told somewhere in there, but even the best laid plans can flop down like a bag of hammers if not executed properly. This is my problem with The Eye.

Horror movies are supposed to be entertaining. (For that matter, all movies are supposed to be entertaining, but horror in particular needs a little something extra.) But whatever it is and whatever it sets out to be, it shouldn’t be boring. Boring movies are one thing, but boring horror is another crime altogether. First and foremost, horror has to be scary. This can be achieved in a number of different ways but tension is the vehicle I like to ride in. There is no tension in loud noises - they are just annoying. There is also no tension in blurry ‘shapes’ that hover in the background and appear out of thin air, especially if you are telling the story of a person regaining their sight. Really, is that the best you’ve got? An out of focus lens and some creepy kids? I’ve seen home movies with better camera work and that wasn’t done on purpose.

Tension can be created by means of a back story that makes us care about the characters or the situations they are in. Sadly, we are not afforded such luxuries here. Instead we are treated to a poorly executed mess of a good idea with an ending that bounces between bad super hero and Jeepers Creepers. I would say the movie is a textbook, but only if you are actually blind and trying to read a textbook that wasn’t designed to allow you to understand it. Or if it were in Spanish and your eye doctor/psychoanalyst (who inexplicably speaks the language fluently) isn't there to translate for you. If that doesn’t make sense don’t worry, it doesn’t to me either  - and I saw the movie.

Which brings us full circle to the very beginning and the Prom Night trailer. I will not dive head-first into Lake JustbecauseyouCANremakeitdoesn’tmeanyouSHOULD. But I will stick a toe in to test the water - if you are going to remake a superior product, do it the courtesy of being relevant. Don’t perpetuate the problem by making the same mistakes as your predecessors. And for viewer’s sake, engage us, even if only to a degree. Don’t bore everyone to tears between scares that aren’t even there to begin with.

Oh, by the way, the water in the lake is warm. Go ahead and take a swim.

And there’s the rub.

Film Rating: * out of ****

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