That question seems so common nowadays but a lot of the time, the answer might be negative. Young teens always have this notion (well, some of them anyway!) that keeping a secret from their parents is 'fun' and 'just right' coz they really 'don't get it!'. We talk much about 'teen angst' and argue so much about the validity of the age difference, that sometimes we get lost in the maelstrom of why and how.

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Then comes a book - actually a novel, about vampires and love and patience and trust and much more. For some, the book has already made a difference. So let me ask you again, when was the last time you shared something special with your mom? But before you answer that, let's hear it from the moms...

I am a parent and was thrilled to see the way Stephenie Meyer handled her books. My nine-year-old was reading the books with me and I'm glad I didn't have to tell her she couldn't read the last book because it was too graphic. Of course my daughter knows about sex, but I don't need her delving into sex novels. I've taught my daughter about life because I see it all too clearly. I'm a nurse and I work two jobs that affect my views on teenage sex.

Did you read about those students at a primary school somewhere in Washington state (or perhaps it was somewhere else in the country?) who made a pact to get pregnant? They even celebrated who got pregnant first! But what happens afterwards?

Let's hear more from what our first mom has to say:

My first job is as a labor and delivery nurse where I have delivered girls as young as 12. It appalls me every time it occurs and even more when it is treated like a happy occasion that's not a big deal. I've had so many teenagers up at the hospital with their pregnant friend thinking that they are just the coolest and I've always wondered what happens to that after they all go home and the fun is over.

While I'm not trying to take the moral high ground, I just think what Faith (our Twilight Mom's real name) is saying is that when reality steps in, after the fun and excitement has worn off, what's next?

So let's hear more of what Faith has to say:

My other job is at a children's mental hospital and I specialize in working with children who have been sexually abused. It's mind-blowing what people do to these children. I wish that there could be a law about this to persecute these people. Sexual acts with a child should be treated like murder in my eyes because they have taken away any chance for these kids to have a normal life. These kids have been violated in the worst way and it has taken their life. As I said, most of them turn and do it to someone else, thus furthering the cycle. These children are very angry, as they should be, and it affects their whole way of life, not to mention there are usually other factors that don't help the situation. I've been on both sides of the spectrum here and you can't believe how many things I would try to get passed into law if I were in charge.

Another aspect from working labor and delivery that I would want to change is I wish we could sterilize people without their consent. Yeah, I know, I'm taking away their rights, but when you get a woman who is having her fourth child, they are all in DHS custody for one reason or another, and she still doesn't have her act together and she's on drugs, she needs to be sterilized to prevent further children coming into the system that will come see me at the mental hospital. A large number of the kids we see are in DHS custody and have been for a long time. I also feel we should lock this mom up for drugs because she's giving drugs to a minor. If you've ever had to take care of a baby in it's first wonderful days of life that's going through cocaine or alcohol withdrawal, you'd want to lock her up too. It's horrible!!

I have a lot of ideas how these circumstances should be handled and would love to chat with you more about it if this is what you're looking for. I'm sorry if this seems like rambling because I'm so very adamant about some of the things I see everyday that I get carried away and my emotions get to me. Thank you for all that you do.

I'm sure Faith will see that I finally got the chance to write this first article that deals with experiences of working moms. You might be wondering why I got the chance to ask her about her opinion? Well, it started when I posted my reply to the TwilightMOM's forum highlighting tMF's latest post, Twilight and the absence of sex article...

Moms have a lot to say about the most serious issues of the day, so it seems just right to give them the avenue to express their feelings and thoughts and opinions. Here's another, coming from Diana:

My daughter is heavy into figure skating and she dreams to make it in the Winter Olympics someday. I'm a working mom and I'm often away. Lately her skating coach is the one who has the time to help her - listen to her problems, and actually taking my part as a mother. I'm sad that I'm not there to support her.

Just a few weeks ago, she was still up when I went home from work. She told me about a book that we should share reading. It's called Twilight and you know what? I seem to have her back!

Finally, here's another Twilight Mom with her views:

I guess I am either naive or really out of the pop culture lingo but I have no idea of the meaning of what Rob said. ( She's referring to what Robert Pattinson said about Edward - read it here )

I guess I need to get caught up. I am the mom of young boys (my oldest is 9) so I have no clue what sex ed is like these days. I do think that the best way to deal with it for parents to communicate openly and honestly with their children. We have already had the talk with our oldest. I think it is a huge mistake to expect the gov't or the schools to do the teaching. Yes, it is necessary because so many kids fall through the cracks, but the responsibility is the parent's.

The other big problem is that if the public system tries to promote conservative values with the sex ed, there is a cry from the liberal set that they are being judgmental and denying free choice. Only a parent can teach their children about sex and set the tone for respect and proper use of the gift it is.

This is one thing I think Stephenie Meyer has done very well. She has set a tone in her books that sex is special and not to be shared with just anyone. I especially like the thought process Bella goes through right before her first time with Edward. She is so nervous about it and wonders how people can do this with just anyone (Breaking Dawn page 83). It is something to be shared between two people who love and trust each other.

But why equate Twilight with such issues as sex, pregnancy and drugs? I think the answer is already there - in the views of our moms. Some of us want to try something new and exciting, even experiment with drugs and sex just because we want to belong, but when things go from bad to worse and we have nowhere else to go, who's the first person we turn to?

That's the end of part . Next we'll have some views and thoughts from the teens. But let's start the discussion! We welcome all Twilight teens and those who want to say their piece. When was the last time you shared something special with your Mom? What can you say about this article and the views of our Twilight Moms?

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Comments (13)

I agree with the twimoms!

I'm not a twilight teen, nor a twilight mom. I've seen other articles dealing with twilight and the issue of sex, and I think twilight is a wonderful way to approach the issue. As the twilight moms stories have mentioned above, it is quite disheartening and deeply saddening the absolute disregard these days for the sacredness of sex, especially for those so young.
Kids are participating in these acts much too young, and have no idea of the consequences. Simply pressured, especially by what is seen in the media. I'm no prune by any means, but some Tv shows are just pushing the boundaries too far, meanwhile kids younger than they should be are watching and imitating. Parents are also the blame, for they are oblivious to this. So I am extremely pleased that Twilight is dealing with sex, in a a healthy positive aspect, something that is intimate and special, not to be thrown away for just anyone. The book bridges the gap between parent and child/teen, as well as something to bond over with. I think all girls should take the cue from Bella and wait, for that special someone truly worthy of their love. And look for a guy that is as wonderful as Edward, who cares for her, just her.

Em , August 31, 2008

I'm not a mom yet...

...but I have felt the exact same way about SMeyer's books. Over and above the journey you are taken on in this world of vampires and teen romance, the two things that always struck me were, 1) Twilight made abstinence sexy, and 2) SMeyer found a way to make reading classic literature cool.

Two things any mom would be proud of.

I was quoted on, my central jersey [dot] com, talking about this very topic, and how it set Twilight apart from many other young adult novels...I feel I must include (most of) my quote here...

Shannon McShane, Fla.

...

"Why couldn't I put it down? I think I just fell for the characters. Stephenie Meyers is a character author. The characters tell you the story, not Stephenie.

...

"In addition to the epic love story and vampire adventure, there are underlying morals and lessons. Well, maybe lessons isn't the right word. But, what I mean is there are other subjects broached in the stories specifically for the young adult audience. For example: All of the book in the saga has a classical inspiration. As Stephenie was an English major in college, she incorporated themes from the classics like, Romeo and Juliet, Pride and Prejudice, and Wuthering Heights. And she even mentions the titles in her books. If I were a young adult, and reading Twilight, I would want to follow up reading those books! What better way to introduce classical literature to an audience who may not be interested in classics!

The other positive moral aspect to the book boasts that abstinence is sexy. It tells of a love that far surpasses anything physical. It says in a nutshell, 'get married first, then have sex.' And with the rate of teen pregnancy and statistics that show 13 and 14 year olds giving up their virginity, this is a fantastic way of teaching them about abstinence.

"So, what have we got? Epic, cosmic love. Vampires and immortality. Life lessons and enjoying the classics. Who knew you could fit all that in a 500 page book!"

Thank you, as always, tMF, for digging deeper below the surface and coming up with gold! Can't wait for Part 2 & 3!

blearyeyedmesgirl , August 31, 2008 | url

Corrected Link...(I hope)

The article I mentioned above...

http://www.mycentraljersey.com...8807250371

blearyeyedmesgirl , August 31, 2008 | url

I really enjoyed this article

I am a mother of 2 girls and we share a love for Twilight. It was introduced to me by her English tutor and I felt it was necessary for me to read it with her. Well!!! I found myself taking it from her room while she was sleeping just so I could read it. I was hooked!!! I finished it in 2 nights and drove to the bookstore to get New Moon then Eclipse and finally... we all went to the Breaking Dawn release party. I am so thankful that we finally have something to connect with each other. My oldest is 13 and I enjoy our Twilight conversations. She sees it very differently than I do... I cannot wait for her to reread them in 10 years when she has experienced true love for herself. I am grateful to SMeyer for sharing this story with us... Thank you Jed for doing this article. I look forward to the other two..

Fullows , August 31, 2008

Parts 2 and 3

Hi Shannon! I tried to correct the link, I think that's a wonderful lively conversation. Hopefully, we can get some very nice responses from teens who enjoyed Twilight.

The TwilightMOMs website is always fresh with wonderful comments, coming from some very nice and witty ladies. of course, they're all Moms, which make the place even more special.

Jed , August 31, 2008

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I am a mother of 2 teenagers. My kids are very good readers, but from all the books that they read this is the first one they recommended to me. For the last year they having tell me, mom read the twilight Saga, Please!
I didn't read the books right away but we talked about the books all the time. Finally I read the Twilight saga this summer. We went to the midnight release together. We had so much fun!
We talked about many issues in the book, what when wrong with the relationship and what when right. We made bets about the ending of Breaking Dawn. While we travel we listen to the Audio books, got excited and scream together every time Edward and Bella were together.
In short we have had a wonderful ride as mother, daughter and friends while reading the Twilight Saga
Thank you for giving us the opportunity to express our experience as mother daughter with this excellent series.

cmar , September 01, 2008

You are SO right....

I completely agree with everything stated in this article. I'm a twilight teen (I guess you can refer to us that way), and it always bothers me when I read articles condemning Twilight because it's all about Bella lying to Charlie and being obsessed with this guy and letting him sneak into her bedroom and stuff. Sometimes I wonder if those people even read the book!

The reason that Bella and Edward's decision to wait hits home is because it's so BELIEVABLE. Stephenie didn't write this to somehow preach her values through her writing and to try to convince the teens of today to not get pregnant when you're young, etc. She wrote this story, and her beliefs were so strong that they just kind of leaked out. Also Bella is believable! She WANTED to have sex in Eclipse! But they didn't. Bella is such a believable teenage girl that it just makes sense to us. Her thought process, the learning she goes through... it just hits home.

THAT being said, I would also like to say that I am so glad that Twilight has opened so many doors of communication between parents and their kids. My mother and I already had a great relationship before we started sharing these books, but now I have just one more thing to rant on to her about every day when she gets home from work (haha). The fact that Stephenie accomplished so much in one book series is incredible. It was so nice to read this article and read all the wonderful things moms were talking about and saying, because Faith, you sound like a wonderful mom. So your daughter must be pretty lucky. :]

LookingformyEdward , September 01, 2008

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Even though I am the child, and my mom isn't writing this, I would like to say that Twilight makes the world more open in a sense. I like how the characters have sex after marriage, and how it discuss abstinence(sp?)- somthing the world needs more of. I also like the idea of Bella not really dating anyone till she is older, and never really having boys like her before- to me that is one of the things that stands out in her character- the fact that even though most the people around you are coupled off doesn't mean that maybe in a few years you still won't be alone (did that make any sense?).

Sara(Yeah theres many of us) , September 01, 2008

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i'm a twilight teen i guess you would say and really love twilight. it tells girls that you shouldn't be with just anybody and it raises their expactations for the boys the want to be with. my mom is the one who got me to read twilight and we are always talking about it. we could go on for hours about that book it's so good.

sierra , September 01, 2008

I wish more people understood this perspective about Twilight :-)

I'm a counselor, a mom of 2 girls, and a Twilight fan.

One thing that I've always loved about the series is how - despite the fact that the characters are vampires and werewolves - it has actually produced some of the most "moral" characters I've ever met in current pop culture.

It's amazing how Stephenie Meyer was able to use a vampire character to get us to think (and talk!) about things like "saving yourself for marriage" and "putting your loved one's interests ahead of your own," and "being concerned for someone's soul."

Once my daughters hit their teen years, I would definitely lend them my Twilight books; I would rather that their future choices for a boyfriend be heavily influenced by Edward rather than... other fictional characters. :-)

Sadly, I've come to realize that not everyone gets it; they're even quick to judge the Bella-Edward relationship as "abusive" and even call Edward a "stalkerish jackass."

This is based on personal experience - I've actually had people go out of their way to find my video on the 7 Lessons Guys Can Learn from Edward Cullen ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6d5YLGgYtM ) just to twist & attack the good points I pointed out about Edward's character.

It's made me realize that we can all have good intentions and even share our positive insights. But people will always filter things through the haze of their own judgments, hurts & biases.

Which is why I'm all the more glad about this idea of Twilight bridging communications between moms and their teens. Twilight can certainly do that (and more!), and I'm really grateful to Stephenie for that. :-)

Aileen , September 03, 2008 | url

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I am the mom of a 15 year old daughter. We have always had a close relationship and I make it a point to watch the television shows that she watches and listen to the music she listens to so that I can talk with her about things that I think are innappropriate. In today's electronic, media-driven world, I think it is impossible to shield your kids from the negative influences. My philosophy with my daughter has always been to discuss our family values in the context of what she is hearing and seeing all around her. My daughter is a avid reader but I had not read any of her books until Twilight. Of course, I loved the book and have since become a twilight fanatic, but it also opened my eyes in terms of what teenagers are reading. I realized that most of the teen-themed books out there (at least the ones my daughter chooses to read)are about relationships and values like friendship, love, and trust. Reading Twiight made me more aware of the fact that teens are faced with some very serious life choices and parents have a duty to show them the options and help them make the right ones. Stephenie Myer has said on may occasions that she did not write the plot lines in a certain way to impart her values to the reader, however, she has created a powerful story about relationships and choices that can be shared between moms and daughters in a very positive way.

cullengirl , September 03, 2008

Teenage Girl

I'm a 17 almost 18 teen. I've always had a good relationship with my mum and we often share things. I like to read alot and I love the twilight saga.

I like how sex was described as being something special between two people who love and trust each and that they're married when they do it. I think there's a real absence from Young Adult novels of waiting till after a couple is married for sex or even just discussing it.

The books are really fun to read but they're also full of great morals I wish we could find more commonly within people.

One thing that I think is a good lesson in order to stay out of temptation later on in life and/or after marriage is how Bella has a chance to be with someone else but still chooses Edward. Sometimes I think that if someone doesn't have some experience/history with someone else before their long time partner,it's more likely to get them thinking of what could have been. But if they do its sort of like they've been there and they know they prefer to be with the partner they have.

Mystric , September 04, 2008

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I am 28, a mom of two with another one on the way. I think these books are a wonderful way to broach the topic of sex with your kids. I can see myself handing them to my kids when they are a little older (I have a preschooler and a toddler.) My mother is a nurse and she gave my brother and I "the talk" complete with medical book illustrations, when we were much younger than most. She also stressed that this thing called AIDS was a big deal now and that she wanted us to wait, but if we didn't, she would not lose us to a horrible disease because of a poor choice. She told us to come to her if we needed help being safe. I did not forget that and even though I didn't wait until marriage, I waited much longer than any of my girlfriends (I was a senior in college) and I have always been safe. What I like about Twilight is that it makes the waiting until marriage thing seem like such an honest and ok choice to make. I wasn't with many people before my husband, but when I found him, I wished I'd been able to say, "This has never happened for me with anyone but you." I don't want to think about those other people because my husband is the only person I belong to. Twilight helps teens understand what I didn't - that physical love CAN wait for the right person and that doing so makes it even more special and wonderful. And it also showcases something else I really believe - which is that when the right man and woman find each other - even if you never thought of yourself as a mom or didn't think you wanted to be one - most of us can be wonderful, loving mothers who are dedicated to children who are a physical testament to the love between their fathers and us.

edward4evR , September 04, 2008

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